This is not the blog you are looking for.
First: A brief, sentimental journey.
When I started the OG “A Day in the Wife” back in 2007, I named it for the Beatles song. It didn’t initially occur to me that it could be perceived as anything other than an homage to the purest, most beloved music ever made, punnily re-named for me, The Wife.
When I stopped the blog in 2016, I kept the domain name for a while. Occasionally, I’d go back to revisit some of the posts, like old friends with whom I’d dine on baked ham or mashed potatoes in the nursing home. I sort of remember you, but I know you have a special place in my heart.
Plot twist.
About a year after the blog closed, I went to visit my old friend. Imagine my shock and awe upon finding that MY A Day in the Wife was now a soft-core porn site. This thing I’d worked on for almost 10 years, got then-ISU coach Fred Hoiberg to file a restraining order on (not really, but I’m sure he thought about it), poured my dark heart and empty soul into, was now…porn?
“Why didn’t I think of that?”
After the initial shock, I went through the Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief.
DENIAL: No fucking way. (Pun intended.)
ANGER: She’d better not be monetizing this.
BARGAINING: I’m sure my blog was more popular than hers.
DEPRESSION: Why didn’t I think of that?
ACCEPTANCE: My blog baby is now a porn star.
Were we so different?
I used many of the same phrases as That Wife.
The vagina cupcakes post of 2008 did get a LOT of views. (Maybe that’s what drew her to my domain name in the first place?)
I had a taxidermied squirrel, she brought in animals.
Both blogs were both randy and risqué or featured someone named “Randy Risque.”
Most of the readers on both sites didn’t readily admit to reading it.
Neither of us wore bras unless absolutely necessary.
They both dabbled in the science of Whoreticulture(TM).
I’d like to think my “A Day in the Wife” was a little classier? Fine. That’s a stretch.
More family-friendly? No.
Something to be proud of? Not particularly.
MORE WORDS. My blog definitely had more words.
The real feels.
I have to say, I started feeling a little competitive. Did people like her better? Did she get some of MY readers? How dare she call herself The Wife? And trot out all of her trollopy friends in thigh-high garters? SEXINESS IS NOT WHAT ADITW IS ABOUT. As a matter of fact, I’d venture to say THIS “A Day in the Wife” is quite the opposite. If we’re going to split hairs, I’d say Bridgerton is racier than this blog will ever be. (And by all means, let’s discuss this in a later post.)
Tell us what happened, Julie.
Well kids, I did what anyone would do - I directed all bad juju to the site, became the worst version of myself, and stalked the blog until it shut down. I was careful not to commit any crimes during that time so my browser history wasn’t exposed: “I was going there for the articles!” When I started considering reviving this blog, THE ONE TRUE BLOG, I bought back the name (because honestly, that name apparently has two functions: Wifery and porn) to preserve its integrity. This blog is about nothing if not integrity.
Are you here by accident?
Are you actually here for Roxanne Crystal, hoping this story would take a more interesting, leather-strapped turn? Maybe you’d rather this be a bodice-ripper joyride? If that’s the case, you should just stick to Fridays (wink wink). In the interim, please know that I promise to use fewer pictures, better lighting, and will never post anything that can be considered sexy.
But the innuendo? Off the charts.
Until next time, Gentle Wifers.